SELF-EVALUATION

SELF-EVALUATION

Every human being, including ourselves who is believed to have opinions about the value or price themselves, but some people feel that they are more certain than others and there are also some people who feel themselves less than other people, when in reality one's opinion of him is not necessarily completely true.

Most of us strive to maintain and sometimes even to try to change his opinion on the value itself.

Self-evaluation and re-evaluation of ourselves are the things that determine the degree of self-esteem.
In everyday life; someone first response / reaction to the actions of both are revealed in life activities. Often the response will contain a second; justification or praise or criticism it contains, may also acceptance or rejection. On the simple interaction is one of the keys of the self-evaluation process.

The development of self-esteem is based on the experiences of adults experience little future as a child.

The Experiences be accepted or rejected by others in the future environment is small, limited to parents in it, where the parents are very influential on the development of self-esteem.
In general, due to childhood experiences in terms of accepted or rejected, as a matter of influence in the life of adulthood.

Someone will form an opinion or belief that, however, the behavior shown, he still can not expect the affection and respect of others against him. This arises in the person's belief that he is not valuable or despicable, at least he doubted whether anyone else will be able to receive him.

Patterns of behavior that will be shown by the people of this group:
a. Not confident.
b. Shut down.
c. Rigid and self-limiting

Feeling that if people know everything about him, the opinion of people on this group that the other person will not be willing to accept or love him who brings distant consequences on people's subsequent behavior.
There are three kinds of effects, among others:

1. Arises a tendency to cover up or hide a part of her that felt not fully justified. In this way, when a person is in touch with other people, these people actually make contact only with the part of him is not the whole itself.

2. The feeling that there are parts of him that are not worth anything to be loved, causing a tendency to act as if he is a real not him. People like to wear the mask. It means to hide themselves and act as if nothing bad on her part.
Maybe these people reveal the bad parts, but not as part of what she actually rather as if a bad thing it is just part of the role played. When this was rejected, the person can feel at ease because he is not getting an unpleasant welcome it. This is actually a self-deception.

3. Skepticism about self-esteem makes people behave carefully, or look for some sort of protection or grip to rigidly adhere to a common social manners. Such people would not dare to apply spontaneously and express themselves as they are, because this will bring the possibility he will get returns that would confirm that he was not really acceptable. Thus the tendency for spontaneous void, but always on the alert and vigilant, always every time considering what to do in each new situation. Sometimes there are people who seem to limit themselves or abstain, whereas in fact it is only valid as was said earlier.
Fear of rejection in this case not because people are concerned there is a great desire to connect or join with others, but the main thing to avoid the possibility he pointed out that there is in him anxiety about inadmissibility by others.
Effort to maintain self-esteem is a lot of busy people and for some other possibility that he will be having an event in which he was not accepted / rejected by others, is a significant threat and therefore must be maintained, so as not to happen.

Several factors about Self-Evaluation.

a. Self-disclosure.

Maintaining self-esteem is that inhibit the development of self.
Self-esteem may not be changed if we do not test the correctness of our assumptions, that others will reject us if only he knew certain things about ourselves.

Testing the assumption of truth we can only work when we reveal our entire being to others, to know how other people's speech. Maybe later we will see that others remain to accept and love ourselves, even though we have opened the bad parts of ourselves to others. In this way we feel a stronger self-esteem.

But it is true that there can be anxiety about ourselves feeling less valuable just get affirmation from others as disclosed and can create self-esteem is getting a little smaller.

b. The validity of assumptions about the value of self.

For how much more likely that someone doubts about her value is realistic?
Because a lot of skepticism about the value of self that comes from one's childhood, then allegedly much less realistic. Why say so?
That it is experienced by a person during the yng very young age, while a child is not able to discriminate against any sharp experience, so he tends to hold a generalization.

For example: A child hit her, and then scolded by his parents. Therefore scolded on the incident, the child may be assumed that he is not loved. The event can be concluded that the child had any aggressiveness is a cause he does not deserve to be loved and seen as a "threat" not loved, when in fact no such threat. Therefore such a young age which can not see a thing broadly, it may even be owned by the assumptions that a child can be mistaken. For example:

A child thinks that his mother abandoned him because of mischief, while at the same time her mother is no need to go somewhere else that is in place, it is not because the mother was not affectionate towards his son.

Another reason, that one assumption about self-esteem are less realistic, are assumptions formed by reaction of only one or two people are usually the ones who have always been around the child, who is none other than his own parents. Parents rejected the possibility of a certain behavior, because they are indeed the parents can not be soft on the things that are different from what their parents want or are indeed people who are not able to show affection to his son.

So often less appropriate assumptions about her child to be loved, not by sight or the response of people in sufficient numbers.